Losing A Prince
by Peanut Butter Toast
Summary: Bulma reflects on her life without Vegeta. Set during the Buu Saga.


Disclaimer- Nothing you see is mine. The lyrics belong to Puddle of Mudd and all their people, and DBZ belongs to FUNimation and whoever else owns it. Believe me, if it was mine, I would be writing the series *grin* (yeah right) and not the fan fiction.  
  
A/N I'm not sure how Vegeta and Bulma got together when Vegeta got back from hell, and us poor Americans are probably not going to know for quite awhile *sniffs* so this is purely for B/V fans who want something to read regarding this time frame. And I know Bulma probably got pregnant with Bra a little later than this fic, but oh well. Part of this takes place during those three years we all know and love. Sorry- no lemons. I wanted to keep this at a PG-13.  
  
Rating- weak PG-13. Mainly for slight depression and a suggestive little part of the end.  
  
R/R!!!  
  
  
  
Everything's so blurry  
  
And everyone's so fake  
  
I'm numb. I want to cry, but my supply of tears is in constant use and only a few drops come to my eyes, just enough to blur my vision. I can't think of anything else except for him.  
  
Vegeta…  
  
And everybody's empty  
  
And everything is  
  
So messed up  
  
Chi-Chi, Oolong, Master Roshi, Krillen, Puar, Yamcha, 18, and even little Marron have tried to console me. When I got home the day Vegeta tried to kill Buu, they came over and, in an attempt to cheer me up, regaled me with stories of my Prince. I didn't have the heart to tell them that they were only making it worse; I remember every detail of my deceased lover. Even the ones I'd rather not think of.  
  
Preoccupied without you  
  
I cannot live at all  
  
"Baka onna, are you trying to poison me with this stuff you refer to as food?"  
  
"Well, Mr. Pig, if you don't like my cooking, get off your lazy alien ass and make your own! It's not easy cooking for you, you know! You eat more in one sitting than I do in three months!"  
  
"Now, onna, we can't swear in front of Trunks, remember? I believe I recall something about twenty zeni to Trunks each time we make that mistake."  
  
"Screw you, Vegeta!"  
  
Laughter. "You're welcome to, onna."  
  
"DAD! TRUNKS IN THE ROOM HERE!"  
  
My whole world  
  
Surrounds you  
  
I stumble then I crawl  
  
Shaking my head, I forcibly banish the memories from my mind and pull my knees up to my chest. Since he -left- I've taken up sleeping in his pajamas. I lay in our bed, strangely devoid of the arrogant prince I've grown so fond of, and hug myself as I fall slowly asleep. I recall dragging him to the mall to get these; an undershirt and boxers. He complained the whole time, starting with our argument to go to the mall in the first place.  
  
"Onna, I do not need any more clothes!"  
  
"You are NOT going to wear Spandex 24/7, Vegeta! It's not warm, and that color is definitely NOT attractive. Did Frieza beat slugs into a pulp and use them to dye the fabric or something?"  
  
"That 'unattractiveness' didn't stop you from getting pregnant with Trunks."  
  
"VEGETA! If you don't go with me, I swear I'll make you wear your Badman shirt and buy you strictly pink and purple clothes!"  
  
" Just remember, onna, if you come within twenty feet of me with that damned pink thing, I'll Final Flash everything in sight. Including whoever's holding the Kami-forsaken thing!"  
  
"Vegeta, we're leaving. Now."  
  
You could be my someone  
  
You could be my scene  
  
Even though our constant bantering made it seem otherwise, I know he really does love- loved- me. He bonded with me, after all, and he has said that goes much deeper than ordinary human love. And he referred to be as his mate, much to my frustration. Made for a lot of strange looks, I can tell you. Especially at my Capsule Corp. meetings.  
  
The window crashed in, sending shards of sharp glass everywhere. Vegeta levitated in, and I could sense that he was agitated.  
  
"Onna, where the hell is the brat?" he growled at me while I frantically tried to calm down the highly excitable people I was having a conference with.  
  
"Vegeta," I snapped, irritated tat he had interrupted me and that the window now needed to be replaced, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of an important meeting?"  
  
"Baka, I could care less about your damn meetings. Where is Trunks?" Vegeta demanded.  
  
"Bulma, isn't that your husband?" piped up a nosy old woman.  
  
Vegeta scowled darkly at her. "She's my mate, not my wife, you bi-"  
  
"Trunks is at Son Goten's," I cut in hurriedly before Vegeta could finish insulting her.  
  
Vegeta's scowl deepened. "I have to go over to that third class moron's house? If he's finger painting, I'll disown him."  
  
I frowned in response to that memory. ""If you want to spar with Trunks," I said irritably, "then go away. You're not going to find him here."  
  
Without a word, Vegeta was gone, and I rolled my eyes as turned back to my meeting. Baka.  
  
You know that I will protect you  
  
From all of the obscene  
  
Those were the memories that Vegeta wanted everyone to remember him by; tough, arrogant, proud. But I knew a different Vegeta that the others couldn't even dream of. When there was no one to act superior in front of, I was able to catch glimpses of the true Vegeta.  
  
I was extremely pregnant. I was also bent on organizing the perfect anniversary party for my parents. I wanted everything to be perfect; it was their thirtieth year together, and as I was their only daughter, it fell upon me to throw their party.  
  
Vegeta had been watching me the whole day as I made lists, planned seating charts, made invitations, called caters, and programmed robots.  
  
At five in the evening (I had been up since six), I was collapsed on the sofa, waiting for the phone to ring from the cater I had called twenty minutes ago. They had promised they would phone me back in under five minutes, but that was the last thing on my mind now that I was lying down. My entire body screamed at me for rest, and Trunks (I had already decided on his name, even if Vegeta wanted him to bear the royal Saiyan name) was moving inside of me vigorously. It's not easy carrying an alien baby capable of destroying planets, after all, when you are only a human, although I preferred not to flaunt my weaknesses in front of the Saiyan no Ouji.  
  
I wonder what you're doing  
  
Imagine where you are  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
I lifted myself up in a sitting position, groggy. I had almost fallen asleep. Vegeta was standing in front the couch, looking at me quizzically, remote in hand.  
  
Great. He wanted to watch the big screen TV, and I was parked in front of it.  
  
"I'm moving," I defended myself, bracing myself for the embarrassment of getting up in front of Vegeta. He had told me more than once that I looked like a beached whale.  
  
"You're moving, or the brat's moving?" he countered. I was so surprised that he hadn't yelled at me to move faster, I stopped my pitiful attempt to get up and stared at him.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, puzzled.  
  
Vegeta scowled. "I'm not stupid, onna. I know that brat of yours moves around a lot. I also know that it's painful for weak earth women to handle."  
  
"Since when are you an expert at these things?" I snapped. "And I wouldn't be like this if SOMEONE hadn't-"  
  
"I asked Goku and Chi-Chi."  
  
I craned my head out the window to see if pigs were flying, shook my head, and stared at Vegeta in disbelief.  
  
"Chi-Chi and Goku? We are thinking of the same two people, right? Super Saiyan, wife with the lethal frying pan, Chi-Chi and Goku?" I questioned.  
  
"They were the only ones who had experience with a hybrid baby," Vegeta explained, eyes flashing at the mention of Goku's recent accomplishment. "Chi-Chi told me about how painful it was for her to carry Gohan in her eighth and ninth month, and she was a powerful Earthling fighter."  
  
"You could help me up," I offered.  
  
Vegeta tilted his head to the side, considering. "I though you were comfortable where you were," he said neutrally.  
  
I groaned, seeing where this was heading. "Oh, no, monkey-boy. No sex tonight. No sex until after Trunks is born. I am so NOT in the mood."  
  
"Interesting how your mind jumped right to that," Vegeta observed.  
  
Oh, Kami. He hadn't been trying to get me into bed. For once.  
  
"So why the happy attitude?" I asked him after blushing. This Saiyan was more complicated than Goku could even fathom.  
  
Vegeta sat down beside me. He seemed to be steeling himself for something. Then he touched my back lightly with his hand. I worked hard not to flinch  
  
He began to massage my back, and I was amazed. For one, that he even knew what a massage was, two, that he knew how to do it, and three, that he was bothering to do it for me. And it wasn't even hurting. He really did have a good idea of what I could handle.  
  
When he was finished, for the first time since I my stomach got huge, he carried me up the stairs, tucked me into bed, and held me all night long.  
  
There's oceans in between us  
  
But that's not very far  
  
He was gone the next morning, of course, and never talked about that again, but after that I knew he was watching over me. I was even able to detect his infamous scowl directed at people when we went places together.  
  
I know it's stupid, but in the past few days I've had the strangest feeling that he was alive, somewhere. I've even thought I felt his ki rise and fall once again, as if he was fighting somewhere. It's impossible, I chant softly to myself in the dark. Vegeta died. He's gone. Trunks would have sensed his ki anyway.  
  
Or maybe he thought it was impossible too…  
  
Acting with sudden haste, I flipped off the lights and settled down under the covers. Alone. Again.  
  
Kami, I hate this.  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
I want Vegeta back. And I want him back NOW. Oh, yeah, Bulma, just march right up to Dende and demand that he send you to the other world to get your mate back. That'll work. And, of course, nobody else has anything to worry about with that monster Buu after everybody. The Earth's already been destroyed once in this fight.  
  
I've thought once or twice about ending it all, but I'm not built that way. I'll face my problems like a woman, thank you very much. Like a Saiyan woman.  
  
Like Vegeta…  
  
And besides, I have to take care of Trunks. He's broken up about Vegeta, too, and is madder than hell that Vegeta didn't try to fight Buu with him and Goten. Of course, I think it only worsened when Gotenks nearly succeeded in killing Buu for good. If Vegeta was there too, then the evil monster might really be gone.  
  
When you shoved it  
  
In my face  
  
This pain you gave to me  
  
Every couple I see, I'm acutely reminded of everything Vegeta and I used to have. I flip through magazines, watch TV, see my friends… and I know that I'll never have that again. I don't know how Chi-Chi has done it twice. I think that I'm going crazy. At least Vegeta stayed put on the Earth, even if he was only training. Goku's been to the Other World and back, died twice, gone around the galaxy… Of course, Vegeta's been all over the galaxies and planets he conquered, but I didn't know him then. I didn't have to deal with the pain I'm feeling now.  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
I can't stop my mind from drifting off to memories about him now. I've tried to block the images so long during the day, I think it's coming back to haunt me at night. Right now my mind is taking me back to the night when he finally kissed me after months of both of us denying our feelings for each other.  
  
When you shoved it  
  
In my face  
  
My mother and father had dragged me off to yet another country club party in an attempt to make me feel better about Yamcha. I'd broken our relationship off for good after I found him with another one of his sluts. I'd agreed to go to the party only to get away from my conflicting feelings about him, but more so with Vegeta. I couldn't figure him out. One minute he was his typical Saiyan no Ouji self, the next he was almost… caring.  
  
I found myself chatting with a handsome young man- perfectly nice, perfectly innocent, perfectly capable of being a boyfriend. He hadn't blown up planets, he hadn't conquered worlds, he hadn't murdered his partner, he hadn't tried to kill the Sons, he didn't want to surpass Goku, and he wasn't an alien.  
  
I wasn't attracted to him.  
  
Everyone is changing  
  
There's no one left that's real  
  
To make up your own ending  
  
He wasn't even trying to make any moves on me, which I found shocking after fending off Yamcha's moves for ten years. I knew in my heart that's why he broke up with me; I refused to sleep with him. We never really went past puppy love, and I didn't want to waste my virginity on him when I knew I could get someone better if I bided my time. It didn't help the break up any, but after I reasoned to myself I did feel better.  
  
"What?" My thoughts had been wandering.  
  
The guy- Kevin? Colin? Kel?- smiled at me patiently and repeated the question. "Would you like to go outside? It's getting pretty warm in here."  
  
I didn't really care, so I nodded, plastering a big grin on my face, and followed him outside, holding his hand.  
  
When we were outside, he studied my face, and my stomach did a flip- flop. Ooookay, I thought nervously. He looks like he's getting ready to propose. Scary.  
  
"I really like you, Bulma," he said softly, squeezing my hand affectionately.  
  
Kami, this was his idea of seducing him. Great. Of course, I gave the guy some credit, ignoring my natural instinct to punch him in the face. Mom and Dad wouldn't want me to go home so early. It was only six, just getting dark outside.  
  
And let me know  
  
Just how you feel  
  
"I, um, like you a lot, too," I flashed a confident smile at him. He seemed to take this as an unspoken yes for a question that hadn't been asked, and he brought his lips to mine.  
  
"Touching, really," came a familiar dry voice. Kevin broke the kiss and looked around wildly. Vegeta came out of the shadows of the country club building, his usual smirk in place. "Bulma on the rebound."  
  
"Since when do you care, monkey boy?" I shot at him. "Sorry, Kevin."  
  
"Who's this, Bulma?" Kevin asked, ready to be friendly or protective if this was an old flame. Already thinking he had won me over.  
  
"He's using our machinery," I said quickly. "He boards at our house so he can use it twenty four seven." I directed the conversation to Vegeta. "He even manages to break it twice a week and leave himself severely wounded."  
  
"Shut up, baka onna," Vegeta growled. He jerked his head towards the country club. "Is there food in there?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Kevin said helpfully. He walked up to Vegeta before I could warn him and stuck out his hand. "Hi, I'm Kevin Henderson."  
  
Vegeta looked at him disdainfully. "Are you trying to make a ki ball?" he asked him roughly, unsure of why his hand was stuck out. Kevin looked confused.  
  
"A what?" he asked uncertainly.  
  
Vegeta demonstrated, a blue ball of energy forming in his palm. I rolled my eyes as Kevin stared, fascinated and a little afraid.  
  
"Vegeta, stop showing off," I growled at him, yanking Kevin away. The light of his energy faded, and he crossed his arms.  
  
"I would have thought you'd have better taste than this, onna," he lectured, inclining his head at Kevin. I was standing between them, so I was able to stop Kevin before he protested with a sharp jab on the foot.  
  
"Like who?" I challenged. "You?"  
  
I knew then that was a mistake. My eyes showed all my emotion, and a flash of something like triumph flared in Vegeta's black eyes. He smirked, then stepped forward, caught my slim waist in a strong, muscular arm, and gave me a deep kiss.  
  
"Maybe," he growled, then released me and shot off in the night.  
  
I turned to Kevin, dazed. He was gone.  
  
And I was so confused.  
  
Cause I am lost  
  
Without you  
  
I cannot live at all  
  
I smiled at the memory. We had both avoided each other for days, then… well, it suffices to say that I confronted him about it. That was the night that Trunks was conceived.  
  
Now that was a happy memory.  
  
"WHAT, onna?" Vegeta finally yelled at me. My family, Vegeta, and I were eating dinner, and I had been making a point of staring at him throughout the whole thing.  
  
I smiled innocently at him. "Just thinking about that night, you know. The country club one."  
  
Vegeta's face darkened, and he slammed down the chicken he was inhaling and made for the door.  
  
I ran after him amid the knowing looks of my parents and caught his arm before he escaped into the gravity chamber.  
  
"I want to talk," I informed him.  
  
"Well, I don't. Go away." But he made no move to take my hand off his arm, and the desire I saw in his eyes scared me. I squared my shoulders.  
  
"Vegeta, I need to talk to you about our feelings for each other."  
  
"That's easy. I don't have any for you. If you have any about me, that's your problem. Goodbye." He turned to open the door, and I dug my hoochie nails into his arm.  
  
He blinked at the pain, then let his coal black eyes meet with my aqua ones. "I want. To talk."  
  
"I'm not talking about this with you."  
  
"Fine, I'll talk, then." I took a deep breath and hoped that I wasn't about to make a total fool of myself. "I love you."  
  
Vegeta's eyes showed me conflicting thoughts, but otherwise his hard warrior face was impassive. Hard time being Mr. Feelings much? I thought.  
  
My whole world  
  
Surrounds you  
  
I stumble then I crawl  
  
I plunged on. "I've tried not to think about you, but every time you pop up in my head. You live in my house, for Kami's sake. You take showers here, you eat here, you train here. And you know what? I really don't care if you ridicule me for this."  
  
I crossed my arms defiantly.  
  
An eternity passed, and then Vegeta began to laugh. Not his typical evil, I-beat-the-crap-out-of-aliens laugh, but an actual laugh. It was kind of comforting to know he was capable of it.  
  
"You should have been a Saiyan," he choked out. He was quiet for a moment, then he spoke so quietly I almost missed what he was saying.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
You could be my someone  
  
You could be my scene  
  
A sudden noise outside my balcony made me jerk back to the real world, and I discovered that I was crying, relishing the memory when Vegeta first told me he loved me.  
  
He won't be saying that anymore….  
  
My life living with Saiyans has trained me, and I cautiously got out of bed, crossing my arms tightly across my chest, and open the balcony to investigate the noise. I scanned the darkened world carefully with the aid of the floodlights I flipped on.  
  
You know that  
  
I will save you from all of the unclean  
  
Even though I know that it's highly unlikely Buu would be tromping around in my backyard, I still feel frightened without Vegeta.  
  
"Who the hell is out here?" I yelled. Internally I winced. Living with the Saiyan no Ouji has changed my vocabulary. Trunks would have gleefully pointed that out if he weren't asleep.  
  
"You can't sense me, onna?"  
  
I shut my eyes and told myself firmly that I wasn't hearing Vegeta's voice. I turned around and promptly slammed into a brick wall.  
  
"KAMI'S BALLS!" I was staring straight at a very muscular chest that was frighteningly familiar.  
  
"Vegeta?"  
  
I wonder what you're doing  
  
I wonder where you are  
  
His usual smirk was firmly in place, and his dark blue tank top and black pants were clean and untorn. and he seemed over confident- typical Vegeta. And he was alive- no halo I touched him, my fingers trembling in disbelief. His skin was warm and its tough texture was achingly familiar under my fingertips.  
  
"How?" I whispered helplessly, my words trailing off. His smirk widened slightly.  
  
"Apparently Kakarrot needed my help defeating Buu after all," he answered lazily. Even through my shock I felt a flash of pride for Vegeta.  
  
"Are you going to-" Leave me, I added silently in my head. My eyes begged him not to say yes.  
  
His coal black orbs softened, and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing my body close to his. Caught in his embrace, I let my emotional side rule me, and I collapsed, sobbing, in my lover' arms.  
  
There's oceans in between us  
  
But that's not very far  
  
He held me as tightly as he dared- I knew he longed to put in his entire strength, but that would kill me easily and quickly. Stroking my hair instead, he murmured comforting words in my ear that I only partially understood.  
  
"It's okay… I'm here… I'm not going to leave you again…"  
  
Eventually, I think I must have woken up Trunks, because he padded into my room a few minutes after Vegeta arrived.  
  
"Mom?" he asked, sounding a little scared. He could see in the dark, and he knew I wasn't in my bed.  
  
"Trunks, honey, come here," I whispered hoarsely. It was evident I had been crying, and I heard him quicken his pace.  
  
"Mom, it's o-" He stopped when he was able to see the balcony where Vegeta and I were still standing. From the twenty-foot distance, I was able to see his mouth open and close in disbelief. His light blue eyes blinked in astonishment, and I knew he was reaching out to feel Vegeta's ki before he approached him.  
  
When he had decided that Vegeta was really there and his legs worked, he moved so fast my human eyes weren't able to detect his movement. Suddenly he was clutching Vegeta's waist in a deathlike grip, tears flowing down his face.  
  
"Daddy?" he asked, bravely not allowing his tears to fall.  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
Can you take it all away?  
  
Vegeta's hard face softened slightly, like it had for me, and he stared down into our son's hopeful eyes.  
  
"What, brat?" he asked roughly, but Trunks and I both heard the cleverly disguised emotion in the Saiyan no Ouji's voice.  
  
Being called by his usual name seemed to snap Trunks out of his emotional state, and he stepped back from his father hastily.  
  
"Did I do an okay job taking care of Mom?" he blurted out. I smiled to myself. Trunks had tried his hardest to cater to my every whim, even going so far as to take the trash out. That was a miracle in itself, but he also felt compelled to comfort me when I cried.  
  
"You didn't do horribly," Vegeta allowed. His eyes narrowed. "But now you need to get your ass back into bed and let your mother get some sleep. I'll still be here to fawn over in the morning."  
  
Fairly glowing with the scant compliment, Trunks nodded and disappeared.  
  
When you shoved it  
  
In my face  
  
This pain you gave to me  
  
"So you really are back for good," I said softly as we walked back into our bedroom. I locked the balcony doors and flipped off the floodlights, leaving our room bathed in soft moonlight.  
  
"I am," Vegeta confirmed, pulling off his shirt. "Besides," he added slyly, coming up behind me and placing a hand on my belly, "did you really think I'd leave you like Kakarrot did that baka mate of his after the Cell Games?"  
  
I smiled, puzzled, at him.  
  
Then realization dawned.  
  
"Oh my Kami," I gasped, unconsciously putting my hand on top of his, "You don't mean…"  
  
"That you're going to have another one of my brats," Vegeta growled in my ear, causing me to shiver.  
  
"Vegeta, I think I'm going to have to sit down," I said weakly. "And maybe pass out."  
  
Vegeta's dark eyes were rich with amusement. "You mean nobody sensed your ki?" he scoffed as he dropped down on the bed beside me.  
  
"Their plates were a little full with Buu and all," I defended them numbly as I laid down on top of the comforter. Oh, Kami. Another baby. Another hybrid Sayain. Another Trunks.  
  
Or…  
  
It could be a girl.  
  
My mind instantly flashed forward a decade. A little girl, exactly like me but with Vegeta's strength to back her up… and her father wrapped around her little finger.  
  
I grinned and sat back up. "Well," I said slowly, "I don't have to worry about getting pregnant if we-"  
  
Vegeta's eyes sparkled, and we re lived the moments in which our new child was conceived.  
  
This pain you gave to me  
  
Some time later, I watched Vegeta as he slept, his arms around me protectively. The lines in his face hadn't gotten deeper, but I knew that this war, the first one he really fought for people beside himself, had made him into a better person. I knew the lesson that came with being Majin Vegeta certainly had matured his mind.  
  
Pushing that image out of my mind, I snuggled up to my Saiyan lover and fell asleep, dreams of a bright future without Buu and with our daughter keeping me asleep for quite some time into the morning.  
  
Yay! I hope you liked it. Now, be a kind reader to this author and review! 


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